So unless you’re living in an alternate universe where Twitter doesn’t exist and Cary Elwes isn’t the most beautiful man alive, then you probably already know that there are rumors flying around of a potential The Princess Bride remake. Also, if in said alternative universe you do not follow Epic Færytales on a regular basis (inconceivable!), you would not know of our (read: MY) deep, abiding, earth-shattering love for the film, the book, and basically anything TPB.
You can guess how I felt about the rumors of a movie reboot.
At the risk of sounding cliché, a remake would be, well, inconceivable. For about 37.6 different reasons. And apparently we’re not the only ones who feel that way. Here are some famous tweets to help convince you, in case you’re on the fence.
From the Queen herself, folks.
Oh really? Well, I married the six fingered man, obviously why we have stayed together for 35 years and there is only ONE The Princess Bride and it’s William Goldman and @robreiner’s. “Life is pain highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something!” https://t.co/hv33UIZKN3
— Jamie Lee Curtis (@jamieleecurtis) September 17, 2019
And if that weren’t convincing enough…
There’s a shortage of perfect movies in this world. It would be a pity to damage this one. https://t.co/5N8Q3P2e5G
— Cary Elwes (@Cary_Elwes) September 18, 2019
The blinding truth
The movie is perfect. There, I said it. Watch any ’80s B-level fantasy film (of which there are MANY) and you’ll see a recurring theme: terrible cinematography, cheesy music, and lame sauce muppet-style creatures. Not so with The Princess Bride. The soundtrack is delightfully jaunty and perfectly dramatic. The cinematography was ahead of its time. And the satire is deliciously savage. Arguably, this is the world’s most perfect film. Drama? Check. Adventure? Check. Humor? Check. Magic? Check. Swords? Check. Gorgeous Pirates? Check, check (here’s looking at you, Cary).
So here it is—my letter to the proverbial “they” who make these decisions. May you receive it well.
I get it. Remakes are bank. They really are. But there are lines. There are some things that are just sacred—things that should never be changed. The Big Mac. The formula for Coca Cola. The exorbitant amount of Starbucks locations in the United States. And lastly, The Princess Bride.
I’ve talked to God. If you change it, he will smite thee. It’s not worth the risk.
Morgan – Representative of the Rightful-Thinking People of the World
Also, if you follow this blog at all, you know that there’s no book I recommend more than The Princess Bride. The movie is great. The book is PERFECTION. Read it. Now. Stop what you’re doing and read it. Immediately. I’m serious.